Lending money to a friend without losing the friend.

Before you say yes

• Only lend what you could afford never to see again.
• Ask what the money is for and when they expect to be able to repay.
• Decide whether it is a loan or a gift. If it is a gift, say so.

Seven things to agree on

• The exact amount, and the currency.
• One repayment date, or instalments with dates.
• How it will be repaid: bank transfer, cash.
• Whether there is any interest (between friends, usually none: say so).
• What happens if a date is missed: a new date, a call, nothing.
• Whether either of you can change the plan, and how.
• Who else needs to know, if anyone.

Put it in writing, kindly

Asking for something in writing can feel like distrust. Frame it as the opposite: you write it down so that neither of you has to remember, and so that nobody is ever in the awkward position of arguing about the numbers.

Keep the tone simple and factual. The point is that both of you see, and agree to, the same terms.

If repayment is late

Bring it up early and privately, with the agreed date in front of you. Ask whether a new date would help. A written record keeps the conversation about the plan, not about whose memory is right.